I've been quiet a while, having just gotten back from a week long conference that took quite a bit of preparation. The wedding is also just over a month away.
Surprisingly, I'm not all that concerned or stressed about the wedding, nor is Fiance (who I will soon be referring to as Husband). Most of my stress comes from either work or my super special in-laws.
To recap the long and obnoxious crap that has been going on: MIL is still a selfish, manipulative a piece of work, SIL is... well I will censor myself on that since I'm still a little sore over the things that she most recently said about me, and several of my cousin-in-laws have been swept up into their "Witch, witch, you're a witch!" campaign in which I am the one who has been labeled intolerant.
And yet, all of that is not what the title of this post is referencing. This post is about when to turn your will against someone, because I am seriously considering it.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Friday, August 31, 2012
Vacation and Aftermath
Before I get into the meat of this post, I wanted to share a little bit of what has been going on the past two weeks (and why I've been so quiet). Basically, a year of in-law drama came to a head and burst. There was crying and frustration and a period of two days where I was so upset and anxious that I didn't eat. It was fairly miserable, by which I mean really really miserable.
And once the big set of drama was finally calmed down and things seemed to be on the road to recovery, my future sister-in-law who is back in town started a huge fight with my fiance and claimed she was tired of all the drama... yes, she made to claim of there being too much drama in everyone's life by starting a huge poop storm right when things were finally getting better.
But in better news, I went out and got a ton of books to help with the witchy studies, which I have had no time to read so far. I will admit, few of the books are actually directly witchy, but I think that they are good for building the support skills.
Anyway, on with the actual post.
And once the big set of drama was finally calmed down and things seemed to be on the road to recovery, my future sister-in-law who is back in town started a huge fight with my fiance and claimed she was tired of all the drama... yes, she made to claim of there being too much drama in everyone's life by starting a huge poop storm right when things were finally getting better.
But in better news, I went out and got a ton of books to help with the witchy studies, which I have had no time to read so far. I will admit, few of the books are actually directly witchy, but I think that they are good for building the support skills.
Anyway, on with the actual post.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Images of Witches in Popular Culture
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Source: Microsoft 2010 Clip Art |
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Vacation Prep and Some Crafting Updates
So the following post was written last week. However, I didn't actually get a chance to post it before I left for vacation. I figured I'd post it now before I compose a post about my actual vacation.
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Only a few days left until I go on vacation! I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward
to it (minus the fact that I’m in grad school and will have to do homework
while I’m there).
I’m going with Fiancé, some family, and Misty (aka the old
lab/pit mix that accompanied me on my afore blogged about woods walk). Nothing like an 8-hour car ride to get you
far the heck away from all the people who are driving you crazy.
Fiancé and I will be back in the place where he proposed to
me a year ago. There is something nice
about that. In fact, since the place
holds special significance to us, it might be a wonderful site for some
Crafting.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Save the Drama for you Catholic Mama (in law)
Hello all. I want to
start this probably long drama-filled post with an observation. When it comes to somewhat devout Catholic
mothers, I have noticed that they seem to fall into one of two categories. The thing they share is the traditional
Catholic guilt, but what divides them is how they apply it.
Catholic mothers in Group A live and internalize their
guilt. It governs their behavior and
makes them kind to a fault. Despite the
resulting kindness, it’s not particularly good for them because they agonize
over every small possible mistake that they may have made, and they pass the
guilt on to their children who learn from this behavior.
Catholic mothers in Group B use Catholic guilt as a
weapon. They purposely infect their
children with it and then use it throughout to control their children
throughout the children’s lives, meanwhile never actually feeling it themselves
(though perhaps they themselves were infected and controlled by their parents,
so they seek to control their own children in a similar way).
My future Mother-In-Law is of the Group B type.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Moon Correspondence: A Page from my Book of Shadows
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Source: https://pixabay.com/en/eclipse-moon-sun-light-lunar-33019/ |
I've have a Book of Shadows that I haven’t added anything to it
since high school. (Click here for a flip through video). This is
my attempt to start a new one.
The following names of the 12 full moons can be used to
alter how you see you moon deity (perhaps as a descriptor for her garb or
perhaps affecting the name you give her) or you can use them as I do. Being scientifically minded, I prefer not to
see the sun or the moon as a humanoid deity with a personality.
The sun and moon are not living things as we would define them, and yet they are essential to our lives, making them sacred. So I prefer to look at them as just that, sacred forces and objects. In that way, I like to view the moon as a sacred orb that controls the tides and acts as a time table that helps me see the changes in the year. In that way the Wiccan or Pagan Lunar Calendar can be expressed and used to pass seasons.
The sun and moon are not living things as we would define them, and yet they are essential to our lives, making them sacred. So I prefer to look at them as just that, sacred forces and objects. In that way, I like to view the moon as a sacred orb that controls the tides and acts as a time table that helps me see the changes in the year. In that way the Wiccan or Pagan Lunar Calendar can be expressed and used to pass seasons.
So without further ado, a page from my Book of Shadows (again, see http://www.farmersalmanac.com/full-moon-names/ for the original unedited content):
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Woods Walk
When I was young, I spent hours in the woods behind my house. There wasn't really anyone around here that was my age to play with, so that's where I went. I decided this week that I wanted to revisit my childhood playground and take some pictures for memories. I figured I would share them here.
The View Starting Out
My very old, trusty four-legged sidekick, Misty.
We pick an entry spot closer to the road
(That's the soybean field in the background, across the street.)
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Midsummer Solsitce 2012
I hope everyone had a Happy Solstice. I myself had most of the day yesterday
off. Of course, that was only because I
had to go to premarital counseling (which I recommend to everyone who can
afford it or whose insurance covers it).
The rest of the day was spent inside with all the windows curtains drawn
because it was 100 degrees outside and Fiancé and I were trying to keep the AC
bill down. We watched a bad movie, a
comedy special, and I ate grocery store sushi (which I love!).
Overall, the day wasn’t very Pagany, but then again, I’m
never good at celebrating Sabbaths that don’t coincide with major secular or Christian
holidays. Though I guess I will count
the July 4th celebrations as my Midsummer. It is close enough and it’s celebrated with
family, drinking, and fireworks… which is pretty much the way you are supposed
to celebrate a fire festival like the summer solstice. :D
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Cool Spring Night in Wonderland
This evening, I enjoyed one of my favorite treats. My parents are hard workers and savers. On a mechanic’s and a school media assistant’s
(though she was a lunch lady prior) salaries, they managed to buy two acres of
land in what was the middle of nowhere ten years ago and build a pleasant little
home for me and my brother. Since then, the country
road that was hardly ever traveled on has now become rather busy, and
neighborhoods of hulking houses have sprung up with their street lamps on
all night and traffic going by at all hours.
But my back yard, or glade as I like to call it, is still
lined by trees. And during this time of
year, the lightning bugs flicker by the thousands against the black wooded backdrop at
night. The frogs that live in the creek
that surrounds the glade on two sides ribbit their love songs and the crickets
chirp along. This night, between the cars
that buzz along the road, I even got to hear and see the flapping bats who sweep
along (probably eating the lightning bugs).
While I wish there were less street lights from the nearby
neighborhoods and I wish less cars and motorcycles roared along the street, I
can still see and hear the lovely sight that is the glade in the backyard in
late spring and wonder at the magic of these small but precious places in the world.
I wish pictures or film could capture things like this, but perhaps the fact that they can't makes it all the more special.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
The Insantity of Blending Two Families
The last couple of weeks have been a little crazy for
me. Between work being overwhelmed at
work, grad school starting back up and sucking away my life, and wedding
planning going into full force (less than five months away), I have been
completely swamped.
In addition to that, my Catholic soon-to-be mother in law
(or MIL as I will refer to her from now on) has been causing issues non-stop. First, let me give you a rundown of our
relationship so far. I spend 50% of my
holidays with Fiancé and his family including his parents. We often go over their house on weekends (at
least once a month or more) just to go over, this is separate from holidays,
birthdays, and those types of things.
Back when Fiancé was just Boyfriend, I went on a get-away
weekend to the small town where his parents grew up to visit his extended
family. We caravaned with his parents
the whole way there, roughly 8 hours away.
While we were there, MIL took me aside and explained to me that I should
call her Mom and her husband Dad. The
talked to me about how she had had a mother-daughter relationship with her own
mother in law, and that she expected the same for us. Now, let me reiterate that this was before Fiancé
had proposed to me. I was a little taken
back, and explained that I really didn’t think it wasn’t comfortable calling
them mom and dad, as I already have a Mom and Dad. I let the whole part about what she wanted
out of our relationship go without comment, but kept in mind a promise she made
that I could talk to her about anything.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Adventures in Alaska
Alaska pictures as promised.
So work sent me to Anchorage, Alaska,
for Beltane (actually it was for a conference, but lets pretend).
Consequently, I did not really get a chance to celebrate Beltane, but
then again I usually don't celebrate many of the major Wheel holidays
other than Halloween, Yule, and to a far lesser extent and for
totally personal reasons Mabon (which I'm fairly sure is the one that
doesn't have any real historical legitimacy, so the fact that I make
it my own personal holiday works, but don't quote me on that one).
Also, on May first in Southern Central
Alaska, the sun does not go down until 11 PM, it doesn't really get
dark until midnight, and then the sun comes back up at around 4 AM.
Oh and it looks like the dead of winter and there is still three feet
of snow on the ground in the rural areas, so celebrating what back in
my neck of woods is the full on bloom of spring just does not seem
appropriate.
The downtown area of the city is pretty
amazing. It's not in every city that you can look down the street
one way and see snow covered mountains, and look the opposite way and
see water complete with sea gulls. Also, for an arctic city,
there are a ton of homeless people wandering around, and I got to see
a teenager girl fight in Town Square Park, right outside what I think
was their court house.
But before I make you think that the
city was unpleasant, it's important to remember I was there two weeks
before tourist season. While I was there, it was amazing to watch
everybody buzzing around getting ready for the tourists. Street
lines were being repainted (all the lines get worn away during the
winter because of the gravel they put down on the road, which makes
driving in the city with three lanes of traffic and no lanes very
interesting). They were washing the streets, prepping all the parks,
and in general just taking care of everything.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Sit for a Spell
Well, technically I stood and kneeled for a spell... and given that I grew up Catholic, that's pretty funny.
Anyway, I did my first actual spell (not a ritual or prayer) in a months tonight. I won't go into exactly what it was, but it was desperately needed for my sanity and well being. I saved the words, but I think I will keep those to myself. They were very specific to this situation and probably not much use for anyone else. After all, I never really intended for this blog to be primarily for sharing spells.
I will say that I have noticed that in the past I have been very hesitant to actually work my craft. It seems so silly, but I would have a need for a spell yet would hesitate and hesitate because I worried that there would be some unforeseen consequence that would make everything worse or that somehow someone else would be hurt by my actions. The reality is no one can do anything without risk or potentially having a negative effect on someone else. When I got my current job (with no magical help), I beat out someone else for it. I negatively affected them, but I never hesitated to try my best in my interview.
I think I'm starting to get over that, which will be wonderful for my personal growth. Unfortunately, all my witchy supplies are at Fiance's house (I figured that if my parents were going to let me move back in for very little rent to save for the wedding, I wasn't going to openly practice or keep evidence of what they think is evil and wrong in front of them). So, I had to do whole a lot of improvising. Luckily, I had my Caribou antler that I picked up in Alaska, which was basically the only tool I used, and it was really all I needed.
I'll post later on how successful I actually was. It will probably be a little while before I know.
Susan
Anyway, I did my first actual spell (not a ritual or prayer) in a months tonight. I won't go into exactly what it was, but it was desperately needed for my sanity and well being. I saved the words, but I think I will keep those to myself. They were very specific to this situation and probably not much use for anyone else. After all, I never really intended for this blog to be primarily for sharing spells.
I will say that I have noticed that in the past I have been very hesitant to actually work my craft. It seems so silly, but I would have a need for a spell yet would hesitate and hesitate because I worried that there would be some unforeseen consequence that would make everything worse or that somehow someone else would be hurt by my actions. The reality is no one can do anything without risk or potentially having a negative effect on someone else. When I got my current job (with no magical help), I beat out someone else for it. I negatively affected them, but I never hesitated to try my best in my interview.
I think I'm starting to get over that, which will be wonderful for my personal growth. Unfortunately, all my witchy supplies are at Fiance's house (I figured that if my parents were going to let me move back in for very little rent to save for the wedding, I wasn't going to openly practice or keep evidence of what they think is evil and wrong in front of them). So, I had to do whole a lot of improvising. Luckily, I had my Caribou antler that I picked up in Alaska, which was basically the only tool I used, and it was really all I needed.
I'll post later on how successful I actually was. It will probably be a little while before I know.
Susan
Monday, May 14, 2012
The Gator: A Poem/A Short Update on What's to Come
Post removed due to a snooping Fiance who might have objected to its content. :P
If ever the time is appropriate, it will be restored to its original glory.
If ever the time is appropriate, it will be restored to its original glory.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Saying Goodbye to a Good Home, Emotions and Ritual
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Long story short, my parents are charging me half the rent I
pay now to live with them until the wedding.
They also happen to be 20 minutes from my work instead of the 40 minutes it takes me to get to work from the condo.
My fiancé lives 1 hour and 30 minutes from where I work. So cutting down my commute time and rent
expenses means more money for the wedding and more time for school. And yet… my room in the condo was mine. Wonderfully mine.
While I have been slowly packing things up and moving boxes
in short trips to both my parent’s and fiancé’s homes, I’ve still felt a strong
pull and ownership. As my condo mate
brought in new people to see the place, I felt a creeping jealousy towards my
potential replacements.
Introduction
Hello. My name is
Susan Brooke. Welcome to my blog.
For my first post of this new project, I figured I would
provide a little bit of an introduction of both myself and what my plans are
for this site. For starters, I am a
graduate student. I’m working full time
and going to school part time in order to earn my M.S. in Information
Technology. If you think this sounds
boring, you are very right. It is also
incredibly stressful and expensive, but mostly boring. I have my B.A. in English with a
specialization in Medieval Literature and a minor in Creative Writing. My, how my aspirations have changed since
those days early days.
But that’s just the boring academic side of me (which I can’t
wait to be done with). I’m also an
enthusiastic but woefully inexperienced gardener, a cook with a track record of
things coming out edible 50% of the time, a knitter who can only make
rectangles, a Pagan, and a part-time witchy woman. I also have a fun group of friends who run
the gamut of almost normal to lovably odd and who never leave me with a lack of
stories to tell.
And if my friends and list of activities don’t provide me
with enough humor to share, my family and in-laws will more than make up for
it. Because, in addition to the work,
school, and social life, I’m also getting married this year, which means that
myself and my Deist/agnostic fire fighter fiancé are going to have to balance
my devoutly Roman Catholic and Seventh Day Adventists relatives with his Catholic parents and Evangelical and Fundamentalist relatives, and
somehow squeeze in all his cursing, spitting, hard drinking fire house buddies
to boot. If nothing else, it should be
fun to watch.
So why a blog? Well,
my life is hectic, crazy, full of unusual situations, and I wanted a place to
record it. I wanted to share both the
goings on in my mundane life as well as my spiritual one and share the things I
learn, whether they be cooking, gardening, or witchy. And frankly, I wanted some place to talk
about what happens when headstrong Pagans and fundamentalist Christians end up
firmly stuck in one another’s lives, and the good and bad parts being not
just a Fire Fighter’s girl but being one with unusual interests.
I think that sums it up in a nutshell. I hope you enjoy my blog.
Susan
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